Headaches and fatigue, prescriptions and health checks,
Distracted cognition, and unexpected hysterics.
Nights of terror, days of darkness,
My lungs feel devoid of all the oxygen they demanded.
However, I know I saw a double rainbow once
While water crystallized on the edge of the city.
I cringe at the thought of anyone touching me
Except for the warmth of my mother around my body.
Yet, I embraced my friend hoping her goofy smile would return,
I suppose I did find a heart underneath those unmistakable layers.
There’s either anger or agony on this face
But I try with all my might to choose euphoria as a pretense.
Love is too strong of an emotion for me.
Thus, I feed canines every day,
But don’t find it in me to say the words that matter to them.
Why does the smile fade in the backdrop of empty wrists?
Why does blood have to spill for my lips to feel again?
Why is today better than what was yesterday?
Why will tomorrow be another day of carnage?
Why do I need reasons to smile
When the homeless children rejoice in every way?
Let the light prevail for now, for I will soon lose sight of it again.
I’ll wait for another psychedelic castle in the air to lead me away.
– Rubani Kaur
Photography Credit: Unknown