It has been a little over a year and a half. The greatest loss I have suffered till now. Before I say anything else, I know that my loss is probably meaningless in comparison to what many people might have gone through. But since it was the biggest and the first for me (and I hope, the last), it hurt me in ways I never thought were possible. I just hope I don’t hurt any sentiments.
It had always been my one true wish to have a dog. Nobody ever agreed to it and when finally, after ages of intense persuasion and infinite deals, they finally agreed. I brought home a little Labrador pup. Trust me when I say this, he was the most adorable creation ever created. His tiny, little paws and his cute, little nose and those adorable ears. He was so beautiful. My wish had finally come true.
And like every other story, this turned foul, too. I only got five days with that little guy. My Tasmanian Devil, or as we all preferred to call him, Tazz. Five days! Hell, he took his last breaths in my arms. And I didn’t even realize what was coming.
He disappeared the very first day I brought him home. I left him in his room so that he could sleep peacefully and that little mischievous fella, somehow, made his way to the corner of the room. He was practically invisible in that corner. I was so relieved when I found him. Little did I know, I’d lose him soon after. You know, I realized that day that he was an adventurous guy. He liked to explore, to see what was out there. But he saw nothing in his short life. He remained within those four walls for those five days. So much time has passed since then and today, I was just wondering how huge the world must have appeared from his teeny-tiny perspective. He was so goddamn tiny. And his little tail was so active all the time. He was so amazing. I fell in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him, I fell in love with the idea of having him.
The Tasmanian Devil (in The Looney Tunes) was the strongest of all, the naughtiest. He could survive anything and I didn’t care if Tazz turned out to be like Marley from ‘Marley & Me’. I would have loved him no matter what. I had this crazy belief that he would outlive me and I had just turned fifteen back then (I brought him home on my birthday). I just thought that he would be the one mourning my loss. I guess, when life gives you lemons, you are reluctantly pushed to the edge and you have to have a taste. There isn’t any other choice. The worst part is when he was still whining in pain within what I thought was the comfort of my arms, I sung him a song I loved and for a moment, I thought he loved it, too.
When I returned home, I deleted it immediately.
I still whisper it from time to time though.
– Rubani Kaur